A while ago, we were all trying to get PC to start speaking as she was doing the baby babble for a long time.

Her speech has moved from baby babbles, to simple sentences already which amuses us to no end since sometimes the most hilarious things come out from that small one. I was very tickled with her vehement “no”s a while ago when she learnt the power of that word coupled with a look that could kill you if you had not listened to her.

Well, these days her sentences are way more complex. As I was walking out the door to go to work, I was floored by her statement and had to turn around, stop and process it.

That girl has learnt to say “Everyone pampers PC”. Where she has learnt that line from astounds me.

Today was a day of running into people I know or at least vaguely familiar ones.

It’s frustrating when you see a person and there is this light bulb that goes off over your head cause some where deep inside the recesses of your memory you know you have met this person before. But at that very moment you just can’t remember where or who that person is for the life of you.

I kept looking at the person at Ikea – but no luck in remembering where I know him from. He just looked terribly familiar tho. Unfortunately, he didn’t seem to know me so I had to stop staring after awhile if not he would think I am some crazy stalker.

Hours after that incident, I’m still perturbed that I cannot remember who he is!! Maybe gingko nuts are in order.

As is it, my job and my life is in a pretty huge mess which I cannot seem to extract myself from. Right, so one cannot extricate oneself from one’s life but it just seems like something I have to do just to fix everything.

Now I’m terribly frustrated that I have messed up my already messy until can die room. All coz I wanted my lappie (Kel) next to my bed so I can lie down and do stuff on my computer. I had to move my table, so the wires can come out and I still had to tug and tug at the wires so that it would extend out long enough to reach my bed. So the entire wiring area is a disaster and I think my power bar and the modem and router area are all a tangled up pile instead of the neat orderly way I placed them. Probably the only place in my room which has some form of order.

To top it all off, Kel isn’t really where I want her. *pulls hair out*

Just had such a terrible experience with a Nokia Service Centre.

Not only was the staff unfriendly and/or rude, they were unbelievably stupid. I told the staff at the main counter that my phone was spoilt and I needed to have it repaired, he gave me this blank look and repeated what I had just told him with a quizzical sound in his voice. It seemed like that it took him an eternity to give me the queue number.

Then as I explain what was wrong with that idiot phone, the staff looked at me incredulously like it was something so strange and never happened before. To make matters worse, I already says that it takes forever to start up, or that it hangs during startup – which it did when he turned it on. He showed me the phone and told me “It has hung”. Like the damn thing was my fault that it hung. Considering that one would think that I would have to be there to be doing something, not just to enjoy the deco, so obviously there was something wrong with my phone.

I really can’t believe I used to be such a huge fan of Nokia. When they produced a lot better phones and had service to speak of. This is just utterly ridiculous. I am so glad that I no longer own a Nokia phone. These days, they only connect people as they are all stuck in their Service Centre trying to tell the staff what is wrong with their substandard phone.

I have this friend (yes, it sounds stupid to say it as the opposite would be that I have no friends which would make me quite a sad soul) and we have been friends for some time now and we sometimes spend quite a bit of time together.

The strange things is, sometimes it seems like we are just toeing the line. Unsure what to do about the other. In some way, he has stated that one of the criteria he looks for a in partner – I don’t have it. But yet there is still this underlying tension every once in a while. While I could be sensitive and he just really only sees me as a friend, I do wonder quite often if there is something more.

I wonder if all the times we both make an effort to spend time with each other is more than just being there for a friend. I know he always seems to be there for me, whenever I need a listening ear or just a shoulder to rest on. The other side of it is, I know he is that kind of person, who is always there for his friends and always will make time for them and I think he would even make a great counselor if he wanted to.

Which makes my situation even more difficult as it’s hard to sieve out if it is all just part of his character or if there is something more there. There are days when I can see myself taking it another step above friendship, then there are some days where I cannot see us move beyond the level of friendship.

It is a confusing and weird state to be in and I am utterly confused and not sure what to do.

Today was a strange day. I was on the way home on my usual bus route. These days, I catch my much needed forty winks on the way to work or back. Without those precious moments of catnaps, I believe I would have collapsed ages ago.

Oddly enough, I was awake on the journey back. So I took in the surroundings as the bus traveled its typical route which I knew so well. While it was stationary, I was observing the other passengers awaiting their own bus to arrive. One lady was seated there, with her eyes downcast. For some reason I was drawn to her tho I couldn’t see her eyes. She had the look of defeat written all over her face as well as her body language.

My mind started wandering. Could she have had a bad day at work? Maybe she got fired? Or is she dreading her trip home as home gives her a new set of issues she will not have the energy to deal with? The possibilities were endless.

Then it hit me, I haven’t gone people watching in ages. I love to just sit and watch the people walk by. Create stories in my head or on paper and just go with the flow. To just be in the moment building my castles in the air. It gives my mind a good break from reality.

As I dwelled on it further, I have come to a conclusion that I have not done anything I love or even like to do in ages! I am starting to feel quite sorry for myself; even more sorrier than I felt for the lady seated the bus stop.

For some reason today, my mind suddenly wandered off into the realm of physical/emotional well-being.

I started thinking how pleasant it would be just to sit in front of someone and lean against someone. Just sitting. For some reason quiet moments of not doing anything seems to be long forgotten or overlooked in our world that measures everything with a stopwatch.

Obviously it has been a long time since I have been able to just sit and lean against someone. It’s just been a long time in general since I have been touched or held. Maybe I am suffering from withdrawal symptoms (And suddenly, the radio starts playing Elvis Presley’s You Are Always On My Mind. How apt)

As I told a friend (maybe two) recently, I think the loneliness is finally getting to me.