This plurk’s argument would probably never end. Yes, I know some of the things said there is cruel but a lot of it is true. Some will say TK is being the biggest jerk around, but I mostly agree with him. Tho, I don’t agree with all he says, and yes, I also know he says a lot of things that rubs people the wrong way, but a lot of it is logical fact. And everyone is entitled to their opinion – what I don’t like, I don’t bother about. And this is my opinion and I will not be sorry it if ruffles any feathers. It is my opinion and there is a little cross in the top right corner if you do not agree with me.

This post is not about him (Sorry TK). It is about the question – Pick me or your job.

This is the worse kind of question one can ask, which has no right answer. It is like the other question - if our ship is sinking and you can only save one person, will it be your mother or me? All of this part of the group of questions that have no correct answer (including the ubiquitous “am I fat?”). And by asking that of your loved one - to pick you or something else, is just giving a lot of added stress to the person.

It is a lose-lose situation for both parties. If the askee, picks the person over the job, he/she might feel that he/she has given up the job for the asker. If he (I’m going to just use he so I have to type less) picks the job over his love, well then, he has just let his love go. Anyone who has had to let someone go would understand the pain that follows.

The asker on the other hand, might have it blow up in her face if the man picks the job over her. Or she will have to live with someone that is unhappy that he had to give up his job for her. Either way, everyone loses somehow.

I will readily admit that I do not think like a lot of other women. As of now, I know if someone posed the “Pick me or your job” question, I would pick my job over any man. Why? Because my job is what defines me. It is part of what makes me who I am. If you cannot accept me as I can, then I have issues with being with you. If I chose to love someone, I love them for who they are. Not who I would like them to be. You don’t try to change your friends, why are you trying to change your significant other. Yes, this might be a very romanticised view on relationships, but I do believe that if love was to really succeed, people will just fit together.

Men and their careers are very sacred things. It is what defines them. No matter how much our society has advanced, the basic requirement of men bringing home the bacon has not changed. The society as a whole puts so much weight on the type of job he does, the salary he receives – all that is how the society defines a man; if he is able to support his family via his career.

So to make someone choose between you and something else, it is just cornering the person and forcing them to make a decision that would make both parties unhappy.

Today has been both a draining day and one that filled me with more energy. Yes, it is strange to have both ends of a spectrum. Then again, it is me. Since when was I normal?

The end of today at work had me huddle in a ball thanks to the repressed memories that I have been bottling inside of me for ages. Some would say, this is the straw that broke the camel’s back. Maybe this time I have nothing left to prove. I have already accomplished what I needed to accomplish and I know I am capable. It is now time to give someone else the space to step up as I have.

Others would say, I am gearing up to commit career suicide tonight. I just hope that as I type the email to my directors later, words will not fail me at all.

I went to a place where I haven’t gone in ages tonight in my daze to find some solace and some peace of mind. As I entered and had some time alone, I found myself relaxing muscles I never knew I had tensed up so badly. It was there in my solitude that I found my peace of mind. That I could for once think clearly on this subject and finally came to a decision. As I realised that I could live with my decision, I felt one with myself, something I haven’t felt in ages.

So as I clean off the cobwebs of the literary side of my brain by writing this post, I am also gearing up to tackle the email to my directors. It is not so much a dragging of my feet as it is in finding the words to tell them what my heart feels. Yes, it’s a big deal for me. Yes, it will no longer be the same once the email is sent.

But I do believe that it is time for me to say what needs to be said. It has always been said, there is a time and place for everything, and this is now my chance to get up on my soap box.